


If I Drink Enough

by glyceral3p



Category: Mamamoo
Genre: Acceptance, Angst and Tragedy, F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-16
Updated: 2019-07-16
Packaged: 2020-06-29 13:56:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,556
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19831627
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/glyceral3p/pseuds/glyceral3p
Summary: ”If I drink enough, I could lay down next to you.”— Wheein keeps telling herself this, but at some point, she has to stop running away.[TW: suicide attenpt]





	If I Drink Enough

**Author's Note:**

> ”If I Drink Enough” is the first oneshot and fic I ever wrote, and people reading it means so much to me already. English isn't my first language so I hope that you understand that this oneshot isn’t perfect. I got the idea for this oneshot based off from King Princess’ song called “Talia” (the song is really good!). I hope you enjoy!

_Beep! Beep! . . . Beep! Beep! . . . Beep! Beep! . . . Be-_

Awakened by the alarming noise her vibrating phone makes, Wheein quickly puts out a hand out of the comforter to put her device on silent. She lets herself breathe by placing the soft and thick blanket on her feet. For a second or two, she stares at the ceiling with a blank mind, not moving in her bed. Shortly after, the silence breaks when the presence beside her speaks, “You’re up early.” To face the person, Wheein carries her body and faces to the left to see the other woman clearly. Everything is silent and no words came out of her lips. Lightheaded, Wheein is unable to think of words to say at times as early as this morning. She says nothing, but with a smile that shows the depth of her dimple— a small detail of her body which the other woman loves so much— and her long and loving stare she gives to her, she is able to bring brightness to the other woman’s morning.

With her stream of consciousness successfully finding its way in her mind, Wheein finally has the right words to say to her. “Good morning, Hyejinnie. I love you.” No one speaks and another moment of silence fills the bedroom that the two women share. Words aren’t enough to express how greatly and deeply they feel for each other, but with actions, undoubtedly, they are able to convey these feelings and emotions and make the other feel what’s in the other person’s heart too. The silence still lingers, but the atmosphere between the two gets warmer when Hyejin puts her body closer to Wheein, having a better view of the soft and delicate face her lover possesses. Carefully, she moves even closer, to the extent where both of them could see each other’s pupils dilating as their bodies move closer together.

Every second, every chance she gets, Hyejin admires how beautiful her lover is, examining every feature of hers as if there’s no another day for it to happen again. She traces the hair that outlines Wheein’s face, tucking it behind the latter’s ear. With her hand on the side of her face, she gently caresses Wheein’s cheek with her thumb, holding the masterpiece and protecting it with all her life. Without a mark of hesitance, Hyejin kisses Wheein softly. It was long, beautiful, and full of love. The two lock lips again, but this time, it’s more passionate, stronger… and desiring for more, despite of it ending earlier than the first one. After letting go of each other from the wonderful moment they shared, they resume in getting lost in each other’s gaze again.

“Good morning, to you, too, Wheein.”

Breaking away from Hyejin’s arms, Wheein gets up from the bed and walks out of the room and proceeds to enter another one. Without thinking if the other woman followed her there or not, she doesn’t look behind her back. Knowing that she’s alone, she makes herself comfortable in sitting on the chair that stands in front of the piano. Placing her hands on the white and black keys of the instrument, she plays the simplest chords which echoes throughout the room and starts singing.

_“All I want is nothing more  
_

_To hear you knocking at my door_

_Cause if I could see your face once more,_

_I could die a happy man, I’m sure.”_

But the flow of her movement falters when Hyejin speaks, “Why are you even playing that song during hours like this?” Without looking back, Wheein answers her and taps on random notes on the instrument, “I’ve had the song stuck in my head for a very long time now. I had to play it.” Hyejin doesn’t speak, and Wheein just continues to play the piano.

_“When you said your last goodbye_

_I died a little bit inside_

_I lay in tears in bed all night_

_Alone, without you by my side.”_

“Wheein.”

_“But if you loved me_

_Why’d you leave me?_

_Take my body, take my body.”_

“Wheein-ah.”

_“All I want is_

_And all I need is_

_To find somebody_

_I’ll find somebody . . .”_

“WHEEIN!”

_“Like you.”_

“Look at me! Please… please, look at me, Wheein.” Wheein stops playing, but her eyes are still glued on the ivory keys of the piano. But slowly, she turns around to meet the eyes of her lover, which are filled with tears that are about to stream down her face.

Now that they’re focused on nothing except on each other, Hyejin doesn’t let another opportunity pass for her to speak to Wheein. “You know that you don’t have to play the song.”

“But I want to . . . and I have to. I have to let it out, Hyejin. I have to let it go.” Hyejin takes her steps, drawing herself nearer to Wheein. “Then why can’t you do it? Why can’t you let go?” With her lover’s question pierce through her heart, Wheein feels her body shake, tremble, and weaken, but she attempts to put out on a strong facade against the other woman. “Stop it, Hyejin.” Wheein gets up from the seat, and walks out of the room. She enters her closet to get herself ready to leave her house.

“Where are you going?”

“I’m going to work. Leave me be.” One by one, Wheein picks up her belongings and puts them in her bag. She doesn’t pause to think whether she needs these things, she just needs a distraction for her troubled mind.

“Is that what you really want?”

Wheein slowly withdraws from what she’s doing. Uncertain about what to do next, the only thing she does is zip her bag and get ahold of it. What’s left is for her to leave the house, but before she steps out of her zone, she looks at Hyejin for the last time for now. Looking at her lover’s eyes pains her even more. She knows both of them are hurting right now, but all she’s doing is avoiding all these negativities around her. The two women know how much they want to hold and feel each other, to have a taste of one another, and to be safe in each other’s arms; but it’s not the right time for those.

Wheein only thinks of one thing she has to do at the moment— escape. It’s true. She admits that it’s a cowardly thing to do, but that’s what she is— a coward. That’s why she’s running away.

Leaving Hyejin without a goodbye, Wheein finds herself stepping out of the door of her home, walking away with no plan in mind or whatsoever. All she wants right now is to get out and escape.

**xxx**

Before going to her work, Wheein drives off to a convenience store. Although it’s disrespectful and unruly to get drunk on a work day, she still does her own thing and buys three cans of beer. Without hesitation, she gets back in her car again, going on full speed as her mind is set to going to Han River.

Once she arrives, she carries the paper bag of the cans of beer and the blanket she found inside her car. Now that she’s settled with a nice spot she has searched, Wheein lays the blanket over the grass and rests. She opens a can of beer, drinking her morning and problems away with the beverage, as she reminisces memorable events that have happened in her life.

**xxx**

**_9 years ago ; Han River_ **

The day has almost come to an end. As the sun is setting and the moon is rising, the life-long soulmates are found to be enjoying the momentous scenery in front of them. For the both of them, it was a tiring day of singing at festivals and meeting with their superiors, and relaxing at Han River with each other’s company is what they needed. Peacefully admiring nature’s gift, Hyejin pauses in doing so to ask her partner a question. “Do you feel tired, Wheein?”

Hearing her name, Wheein puts all her attention to the other girl, “Yes, of course. We really did a lot of activities today, and it was really tiring.” Hyejin chuckles softly; it wasn’t the answer she was expecting, so she had to rephrase her question. “I agree with you but that’s not what I meant.” Knowing this, Wheein tilts her head out of confusion, making her reaction resemble a puppy. She doesn’t say anything, implying that the other girl must continue speaking. “What I’m trying to ask is . . . Do you feel tired to the point where simply living seems like a bother for you, to the point where you don’t want to attempt to go through any means to simply just live and go on with your day?”

Before answering, Wheein stays silent to understand Hyejin’s question in order for her to give a meaningful answer. As she contemplates, she gazes over the sunset that paints across the sky. Without looking at her partner, she answers, “I think I feel like that sometimes. It can’t be helped, to be honest. I also have those days where I just don’t feel motivated at all, where I just don’t want to exist. I’m not saying that I want to die. I just want a break from living, I guess. But I also have to understand that it’s difficult to achieve that. Not to be boastful but as idols, I get to inspire people with my voice, my talent, and even with my story. Yes, being an idol stresses me out, yet knowing people get moved with our journeys towards where we are now . . . that motivates me, that moves me, and that helps me to just exist and go through life. I know I’m not expressive, but some day, I want to let people who mean so much to me that they keep me alive and live.” Finishing her speech-like answer, Wheein ends her reply by looking at Hyejin’s eyes, hoping for the latter to know what’s inside her heart.

“Wheein…” “Hm?”

“What would you do if I die?”

Wheein is taken aback with the question. Their gazes are still fixed on each other, but it’s more difficult to break away now that the fear of losing one another surfaces in their hearts. One by one, tears start to run down Wheein’s face as she tries to give an answer.

“How could I live without you?”

**xxx**

_**Present ; Han River** _

_“How could I live without you?”_

Wheein’s answer to a 9-year-old question never left her mind and heart. A lot of things happened but those words forever linger in her consciousness. Up to this day, she still doesn’t know an answer to her reply. _How could I even live without her?_ It’s a thought that she always tries to avoid but keeps coming back to. At the end of the day, Wheein would be left with nothing but only with that question.

Her time alone was interrupted when a notification from her phone rang.

“I’m so sorry to say this but you have to go here right now. CEO-nim is asking where you have been. Text me back when you get this message, okay?”

It’s from Yongsun. Wheein sends her a simple message, saying that she’s on her way to the company now. After hitting the button, she unfolds the blanket and picks up the cans and disposes them properly in a bin nearby. Ready to depart, Wheein buckles up her seatbelt and drives her way to the company.

**xxx**

As soon as the two girls see Wheein park her car, Yongsun and Byulyi wait for her by the entrance of the building. When the young girl opens the doors of the company, the pair immediately blocks her way and bombards her with their presence.

“Why do you smell like alcohol?” “Wheein-ah! Are you drunk?!” “Are you okay? Are you even feeling well?” The both of them stop talking when Wheein covers their mouths with her hands. “I’m doing just fine, unnie. I only drank half a can, I can manage it. I’m sorry if I was late, I’d just tell them that I ran an errand. And everything is going just great, okay? You don’t have to worry about me.” Wheein removes her hands and wipes them off on her jeans.

The two older girls give each other a worried look, then they both look at Wheein. Yongsun, being the paranoid and over-protective unnie she is, gives Wheein a tight hug. If a person bothered counting, it probably lasted for a minute, but Yongsun doesn’t care ‘cause she only wants to protect her dongsaeng. Byulyi silently laughs at Yongsun, and just makes funny faces to mock the oldest, which made Wheein laugh. “Why are you laughing, Wheein? Is Byul teasing me again?”

Wheein looks at the ceiling, pretending to think of an answer, making Byulyi enjoy the occurrence more. “Nope!” The three went silent for a second or two, but then the two girls laugh out loud. “Ah!!!! Why are you doing this?” Yongsun pouts, which gets her no sympathy but only for the two girls to imitate her. Playing hard-to-get, she folds her arms and turns her back from the two, “I thought I could trust you.” To end the little misunderstanding, Wheein hugs Yongsun from behind, “Sorry, unnie.” Feeling Wheein’s presence fill hers, the eldest quickly answers back by hugging her too. “Silly! I know it was just a joke. My feelings don’t matter, as long as you’re happy. Look at you now, smiling and all! I’m glad that Byul and I were able to put that smile on you.”

Surprisingly, Wheein hugs Yongsun tighter without saying anything, so the latter continues to speak. “Wheein-ah, I told our CEO to give today as your break. I know this day means a lot to you, and I’m sorry if I wasn’t able to convince him to do it.”

“Unnie, it’s okay. I told you that I can manage. Don’t think too much about it, it’s fine,” assuring Yongsun, Wheein gives her a smile. Byulyi stands next to Yongsun and faces the young one. She rests a hand on her shoulder and says, “Just tell us if you need anything, okay? We’re here for you. Always.” Wheein hugs them both as a way of saying “thank you”. After showing her gratitude, she proceeds to go to the practice room to leave the two and be alone by herself.

**xxx**

Closing the door behind her, Wheein carelessly tosses her bag to the hardwood floor of the practice room. Exhausted, she lays down at the opposite side of the wall of mirror. Though it’s far, she examines her reflection, arriving at the conclusion of how lifeless her eyes and body seem to be. Nevertheless, she gets up and shakes off the feeling of tiredness, so she gets her phone and connects it to the speaker, choosing a song to dance to. Now set, she runs towards the center of the room, facing the mirror and away from the door.

Once she hears the song play with a very short intro of chords, she closes her eyes, letting her mind wander on its own and her body to take the lead.

_“Hey, my love_

_I buried you a month or two ago.”_

The music’s sound waves vibrate through the walls of the room, leaving Wheein to hear nothing but these melodies. Like a river flowing downstream, her movements show the best fluidity alongside a beautiful story in-line with the meaning of the song. Unlike earlier, Wheein doesn’t falter nor waver when a presence has joined the room. Uninterrupted, the girl doesn’t stop dancing, but she acknowledges the other person, “I told you to leave me be, but you’re here again.” She dances a little more, but her balance becomes unstable when she feels the other woman’s touch against her skin. “I’ll never leave you, Wheein. I am always by your side, but at some point, you have to let go.”

_“I keep thinking that you’re standing on my floor,_

_That you’re waiting there for me.”_

Wheein’s knees fall to the ground, but still managing to hold back her tears. She can feel the other woman’s arms wrap around her. “Can I think about that on some other time? Right now, I just want to dance with you again. Can we do that instead?” Hyejin holds Wheein’s hands, helping her to get back on her feet as she accepts the latter’s invitation to a dance, “Of course. We can do that.”

_“Hey, my love_

_You’ve walked out a hundred times out of us_

_Supposed to know this time you wouldn’t call_

_That you wouldn’t come home.”_

Calm and steady in each other’s embrace, Hyejin rests her arms around her lover, while Wheein holds the other by her waist. Their bodies sway gracefully in accordance to the tempo of the song, it seems like they are one with the music. Their foreheads touch while dancing, as each second gets more intimate than the previous one.

_“But four drinks I’m wasted_

_I can see you dancing, I can lay down next to you_

_At the foot of my bed.”_

Wheein loses her grip of Hyejin, but in return, she hugs her, resting her head on the chest of the other woman. Wheein whispers to her, “I don’t want to let you go.” Hearing those words come out from herself, she holds the other tighter. But Hyejin’s reply breaks her into pieces, “At some point, you have to. I can’t stand seeing you hurting like this, knowing that I couldn’t help you in any way.”

_“If I drink enough,_

_I can taste your lipstick,_

_I can lay down next to you,_

_But it’s all in my head.”_

Hyejin removes Wheein’s arms from her, holding them instead, as she attempts to look at her lover’s eyes. “Please, let go. When you think of me, I only want for you to be happy, and not wrecked as you are today. Can you do that?”

_“If I drink enough_

_I swear that I will wake up next to you.”_

Teardrops mark the floor of the room as Wheein tries to understand what Hyejin asks her to do. Words aren’t enough how badly she feels right now. She knows she’s a coward, and this is one of the instances which proves how weak she thinks she is. With every strength left in her body, she shares her sentiments to Hyejin.

“I’m sorry.”

**xxx**

By the door of the practice room, Yongsun and Byulyi have been peaking what’s going on inside. They can’t help themselves but do it, their concern for their friend drive them to do so. Having a view of the events that are occurring inside the room, Yongsun shares her thoughts to the younger girl, “Byul-ah, she’s doing it again. Is it still normal for her to dance alone in such a way?” Hurt by what she has seen, Yongsun distances herself from the door, while Byulyi remains looking.

“Maybe it’s just normal. Unnie, we know that today would be one year since Hyejin passed. Perhaps, that’s just how Wheein copes, and we have to respect her.” Byulyi holds Yongsun’s hand to assure her. “I know, Byul, I know,” says Yongsun, then she sighs. “It’s up to her on how she overcomes her grief. We just have to be by her side and tell her we’d be there for her no matter what.” The two girls think by themselves in silence.

“Here she comes. Quick! Let’s go there!” Once Byulyi points to the couch, the two girls run towards them and make themselves comfortable in sitting as Wheein is about to get out of the practice room. To not be suspicious, Yongsun and Byulyi act they were talking about a funny topic. Wheein walks past the two and proceeds for the entrance of the company. Curious, Yongsun gets up from her seat and approaches the younger girl before she leaves, “Where are you going, Wheein?”

She doesn’t meet the eyes of Yongsun and only replies without putting much thought in her words, “I don’t know. Please tell the CEO I already went here. Though, I’m still not sure what time I’ll be back.” “Okay. Take care, Wheein, please.” Before Yongsun knows it, Wheein has reached for the door and exited the building. Frustrated, she sighs heavily, while Byulyi holds the older girl to comfort her.

**xxx**

Arriving at the parking lot, Wheein searches for her car keys in her bag. The next thing she knows, she’s stepping on the gas as hard as she can, driving off to God knows where. Not realizing where she got herself into, she steps out of her car only to see her feet standing by a bridge. Lost in her own train of thought, Wheein gazes at the sky in front of her, the same way she did when she and Hyejin were relaxing at Han River nine years ago. Uncertain about what to do there, she dismisses every thought that is running in her mind, allowing only what she is about to say to herself.

“Hyejin-ah… I know you can hear me right now, so I hope you are listening to what I am about to say… I miss you so much despite of you being always around. It feels different, you know? It’s different when you’re actually alive, when I can really see you and feel you. Seeing you in my dreams, having you in my hallucinations— those aren’t enough… and that hurts me even more.” Wheein plays with the pendant of her necklace— a ring, a simple, diamond ring.

“Hyejin-ah, we had our lives ahead of us, but you… you left early, too early. Everything happened so suddenly, I was never ready for any of this. People say that you should always be prepared for anything… but have they thought about preparing themselves once the moment of losing your loved ones arrives? How could a person prepare for something like that, when all you want is to live with them forever?” She doesn’t realize her cheeks get filled with her tears. Despite of getting choked up, she continues.

“It’s been a year, Hyejin. We’re supposed to live the rest of our lives together, we’re supposed to be great singers… we’re supposed to be married and have two little girls to take care of and love, Hyejin. There’s a lot of things that are supposed to happen but did not, and that devastates me so bad... I know it’s you, who I want to wake up to everyday, who I want to have kids with and build a home someday— it’s always been you. And when we went to our hometown on your birthday last year, the smile on your face when we visited your family and cooked them dinner, that made me think that I want to always see that beautiful smile everyday, I know that I don’t want to lose that… and I don’t want to lose you. Still, I had to think about it and worry things on my own, until I was ready. A month later, I know I had to say it, I know I had to ask you if you want to be with me forever too. So I took you to Han River for a picnic with your favorite food. And after our little chat about our day, I couldn’t let another second pass, so I asked you if you want to marry me… and I couldn’t be happier when you said yes.” Wheein laughs at the thought of having a trip back to the moment that changed her life forever.

But her sadness returns when she remembers what happens next. “I knew I should’ve waited for you when you got a call that you need to return to the company. But I didn’t.”

**xxx**

**_One year ago ; Night of August 23, 2025_ **

After Hyejin says her very sweet “yes” to Wheein, sadly, she gets a call from her manager, telling that she has some unfinished business with one of the music producers in the company. Telling Wheein this, the two quickly clean up and drive off to the company. Hyejin gets dropped off by the entrance of the company, giving Wheein her farewell with a kiss before parting.

An hour before midnight, Wheein gets a call from one of the employees of the company, telling her that a gunman was found dead after shooting seven people near the area where the establishment stands. Hearing this, Wheein immediately asks the employee where Hyejin is, only for the worker to answer that the singer has left the building minutes before the incident happened.

Sick and worried, Wheein drives to the company to ask if they have any idea regarding Hyejin’s whereabouts. Getting no useful answer, she decides to have a look at the crime scene, where squads of armed police people are busy investigating and examining the event. She goes up to one of them, “Have you seen Hwasa? Ahn Hyejin? She’s tanned and has a long, black hair. Have you seen her?” The policewoman replies that she hasn’t seen the person that Wheein is describing since she only has arrived when the victims were taken into custody. Wheein tries to attain information again, but this time, with a different question, “What about the victims? Where are they now?” The officer gives her more useful reply now, “We haven’t identified the victims’ identities yet. Our priority was to put their conditions back on track so we can question them regarding the incident. They are at the hospital now, if you’re asking.” Wheein quickly returns to her car and drives to the hospital, hoping to find her fiancée there.

Getting off from her car, Wheein runs for the receptionist’s desk, asking if an “Ahn Hyejin” has been admitted to the hospital. Knowing what to do, the nurse leads her to a room after asking for Wheein’s name. The singer is not being led to a patient’s room, but instead, to the morgue. Even though she’s confused and anxious, she trusts the nurse with her job, so she doesn’t raise any question nor show any concern.

Stopping in front of another room, the nurse goes inside as Wheein follows her. In the middle of the room is a lifeless body covered with a white sheet. “I’m so sorry for your loss.” Wheein looks at the nurse’s eyes first, trying to understand if anything that’s happening currently is a joke. When the latter doesn’t flinch but only shows sympathy with her caring eyes, Wheein decides to go near the lifeless body of her lover. She removes the top part of the cover to see Hyejin’s beautiful face for the last time, and with that, her heart breaks into a million pieces as she tries to put things together to answer a question she’s scared to face for a long time— _How could I live without you, Hyejin?_

**xxx**

_**Present ; August 23, 2026** _

A supercut of the events that happened on that day continuously plays inside Wheein’s head. She thinks— one moment, Hyejin’s delight when she proposed to her flashes right before her eyes, then the next thing she knows is a frame of seeing her lover on her deathbed quickly fades in, like how groups of nimbus clouds overcast the sunlight in the sky without a warning.

“Who would have thought how cruel fate would go far in playing us both? You’re the sweetest and most caring person I’ve ever met, Hyejin. Why would the universe take a soul as pure as yours? I still don’t understand.” She pauses, sobbing a little. “All my life, you never left my side, and I never left yours. It hurts, Hyejin… It hurts that not only that I lost a lover, but I also lost a friend, a family… a soulmate. Looking back at everything that happened, I’ve been asking myself the wrong question. I’ve always wondered how could I live without you, when in reality… I should be asking myself… Can I go on with my life without you by my side? Can I move forward, leaving everything that we had behind? Hyejin… Can I live without you?”

With that question finally awakening her mind, Wheein stops crying, only getting lost in the crystal clear water beneath the bridge where she stands. She lets herself be one with the peaceful surrounding, cleansing everything, washing away every thought and every word her mind dares to speak to her. But she closes her eyes, and slowly, with every inch of courage and force left in her exhausted body, she tries to lift herself up to stand at the other side of the guard rail of the bridge.

Still holding onto the railings, only one thing kept running in her mind— _Can I live without you, Hyejin? Because I don’t think I can._ She takes a deep breath, about to run away once again. _I’m scared of going on with my life without you. I am afraid to face that truth, Hyejin, the truth that I am still alive while you remain dead._ Wheein loses grip of the railing by letting a hand go. _This is the last time that I would run._

A soft touch gets ahold of Wheein’s hand. When she looks behind her, she sees a little girl. Looking at her innocent and sweet eyes, Wheein gets reminded of what she believes in when she first started making music.

“Unnie… please don’t jump, take my hand, instead.” Wheein doesn’t move at first, stunned by what the little girl has said. At the corner of her eye, she catches sight of a vibrant sunflower being held by the child.

**xxx**

“A little girl saved me today, Hyejin.”

Holding the sunflower in her hand, Wheein rests after a long, tiring day, sitting beside Hyejin’s grave at the cemetery. After her interaction with the girl, she drove herself to the cemetery as fast as she could. “Not only that, but she also gave me this sunflower. I couldn’t thank her enough, so we just ate ice cream… and I promised her to never do that again.” She pauses. “I know it sounds like I take what I did earlier lightly, but I am serious.”

She spins the sunflower in her hand, observing its parts and admiring each side of it. “Hyejin, when I saw that girl, I remembered the things I said to you nine years ago. When I saw her, I got reminded of my purpose in life. Though, I’m not sure if it _is_ my purpose, but I know that believing in it is what kept me moving. That girl recognized me, she knows who I am. Hyejin, that girl has listened to my voice… she knows me. It will always hurt me to admit this but, I still get to continue living. I realized that I am still here, and there are people out there who are waiting to hear my music, who are staying by my side no matter what happens.”

“Before, I thought that if I keep looking back at our old photos, that if I drink enough and get wasted, I would have you back with me again. But you’re right, at some point, I have to let go, I have to accept the fact that you can’t live with me anymore, I have to accept that I have to move forward. At this moment, I will sing for our future… for you. My voice is not only mine, but it’s yours too. You may not be here with us anymore, but I will continue telling your story, because this is not the end, Hyejin.”

Wheein looks at the grave, tracing the engravings on the cement with her finger. “It’s been a year now. A lot has changed, and things will continuously change… and I will, too.” She takes a few seconds before speaking again. “Hyejin, you still have my heart, it has always been yours. I never thought I’d be saying this but… I think I have to let go now… and I think I can do it now.”

Like nine years ago at Han River, the golden orange sky slowly fades into shades of blue as the sun ends its duty for the day. Wheein looks at the scenery with tearful eyes, but now, she feels more at peace… and safer.

She faces Hyejin’s grave, emptying her mind as she holds the sunflower with her hands, “This flower reminded me of you. So bright, vibrant, and beautiful— just like you, just like how you are the sun when a storm passes… just like how you light up my life. This reminded me of hope and joy I aspire to have. Hyejin… you’re my saving grace.”

With a new-found strength she never thought she would have in her again, Wheein finally lets go of the chains which held her back for a long time. She looks at the sunflower for the last time, and as seconds pass by, she lets go of it too, like what she did to herself. Wheein lets the flower rest on the cold cement engraved with her lover’s name. 

”I love you, Hyejin... But just like this flower, I’m finally letting you go.”

**Author's Note:**

> Taking the time for you to read this means a lot to me already. I hope I did well and I’d like to know your thoughts about it. This is my first oneshot and I’d like to know how I would improve my writing. 
> 
> Thank you so much!


End file.
